Peace

I'm at peace with myself in ways that i cannot explain.

God must have answered my prayers.

Its a good feeling.

Picture: Sunset on Cenang Beach fr the Langkawi trip album

I'm Back

Settling in to normal routine after almost 2 weeks away.

Dad is doing much better, thanks for all your well wishes.

The Balik Kampung trip: Part 2

First the good news, alhamdullilah my dad was discharged from hospital yesterday.

Now back to the Balik Kampung trip.

The second half of my stay at home was mostly spent at the hospital ward with my dad. I have to say i now have a renewed perspective of the quality of care at government hospitals. Its been a while since any of my parents been warded at the GH. A few years in fact. The night of the emergency, it was mom's call to take Dad to the GH rather than the private hospital he goes for his regular medication. It was a good call i think. Any respiratory problems need immediate attention which the GH is well and ready even at that ungodly hour. At the private hospital, at least this particular one...the ER is not as busy at night and early mornings, and probably has a locum/junior doctor on standby. The physician will be asleep at home on call, and it will take at least half an hour if you are lucky for him to get there.

The ward dad was placed in the first 3 days of his stay had at least one doctor and 5 nurses working around the clock on 2 shifts. Since this is a male ward, they even have male nurses around. Gone are the days of rude, fierce loud nurses, or previously called 'misi'....now the nurses are pretty young ladies, and pleasant young man who are well trained, knowledgeable and have the best bedside manners i've seen in a while.

The doctors took their time with each patient, despite the long hours..there were about 30 patients in the entire ward i noticed...with more wheeled in from the ER nite and day. I counted...dad had doctors checking on him 2-3 times a day, with at least one visit by a specialist.

There was this one night, dad had a really bad attack about 2am, both my brothers were with him.....dad refused to get on the bed and wanted to sit on the chair. (Ward is cramped, each bed gets a plastic chair each). The doctor practically kneeled on the floor the entire time giving treatment, my bros sd it took quite long.

And looking around the ward, there's all sorts of people with all sorts of sickness. The taxi driver besides my dad's bed who has refused food for the last 4 months, the popeye-uncle whose bed ridden and forever making scary sounds, the snake-bitten teenager, the lonely Kalimuthu with yellow fever, the sweet pakcik Ibrahim whose sugar level passed way above any meter reading available.....

Except for Kalimuthu, one thing they all had going for them is family. A wife, a son or daughter....friends drop by during visiting hours...but those who stay with you while you ache, who change you when you are wet, who feed you when you can hardly lift your arms are your flesh and blood. And when it all become too unbearable, you whim and cry and ask for God.

It got me thinking and reflecting, at the end of the day, all these things we strive for on a daily basis will come to that.

The Balik Kampung trip: Part 1

2 saturdays back, i happily packed my stuff and left for home early in the morning. Usually i will start my journey about 7am so that i will reach there just after noon, in time for lunch. I'm beginning to enjoy the long drives alone, with the stereo blaring loudly. This is supposed to be just another trip home to be with mom and dad. No specific agenda.

Me having a quick breakfast in Tapah- my fav double choc donut and cold green tea.

The first few days at home was pretty normal and relaxed. Dad was having a bad cough and asthma attacks, so we fuss over him and make him comfortable. Other than that all was good.


Mom is having a small renovation project which turned our entire garden into a mini construction site. She spend her days "arguing" with Ah Hee, her resident contractor..mom loves to role-play architect and engineer, much to Ah Hee's irritation :-)...i think it makes mom happy - something else to focus on besides taking care of my dad. Mom would have made a great project manager i think!

The mess!

And this stray cat decided to stay over, so i had her to play with. She's cute isnt she, but she cant stay long. Mom said the cat will have to go soon. Both mom and dad are asthmatic and its not good to have cats around. Its ok if they can stay outside, but this one keeps running into the house, and likes to be around people, chasing after legs and all.

Poor thing!

Of course balik kampung means eating and eating and eating. Its 'musim buah', so there's manggis, and rambutan, and these...!
Kesian dad, we didnt let him have any coz he's coughing.

I love durians with gardenia white bread:-) strange?

All was good until early Friday morning. We rushed dad to the ER at about 1.30a.m. He was coughing badly and had a bad asthma attack. The nebulizer (that little spray asthma patients carry arount) didnt help at all. He was gasping for breath. Me, mom, my sis took turns in and out of the ER acute bay because its actually a no entry zone. They had dad on the "gas" thingy but its not working...i ran around for the nurse. The ER was frantic and seemed understaffed. "Help, get a doctor....its not working, he still cant breathe". Pure panic. Dad was also panicking and rambling deliriously. This made his heart beat too fast. Lucky a doctor passing by noticed, and finally he's getting the "EMERGENCY" treatment we came for. They hook him up with wires, and gave shots, and the nebuliser through the oxygen mask. I left mom there and had to wait outside, peeping occasionally when the door is opened. My sis went in despite the security guard staring disapprovingly. She came out.."doc sd he's not stable...another doc ask dad to mengucap, lets call Abang". Shit, i couldnt find my phone in my handbag. Lucky my sis had hers on her. Nobody was awake at the hour - my 2 brothers had their handphones off, and tidur mati - cant hear the house phone. Anyways, it'll take them 5 hours to get there...so i just left a message.

By 3a.m dad was breathing a bit better, and they are moving him to the ward. A little relief for all of us. Another doctor attended to him immediately at the ward, and mom stayed with him while me and my sis waited outside. The ward had huge sliding windows and we can see his bed from where we were sitting. He didnt sleep till daylight.


Its Day 4 and Dad is still in the ward. He's weak and the asthma attacks still comes and goes. He's been moved out of the acute ward into a single room tho. One one hand i hope he gets discharged today so he can rest at home....but when the asthma attack is bad, its best that he's there.

I've been back since yesterday because i'm running 2 workshops tomorrow and thursday.

(..to be continued)

dot com dot my & More Pics

Yesterday i met Jill to discuss business. Its been so long - since her dad sakit and passed away, this is the first time kita jumpa. She's gonna take a long break to be with her family so i'm gonna be pretty much on my own next month. Company I ada dua orang je (obviously!). Anyway, semalam we decided nak buat business card baru - dah dapat domain name with ....com.my, with own email address. So lepas ni nak all out buat marketing rasa "best" sikit...before this dot.gmail je....nampak sangat lekeh. We have also agreed on our tagline and have it on our business card. Nanti la satu hari when I (we) are ready to share, i will reveal all...

Before met up with Jill, managed to squeeze a 1 and a half hours at the gym..7.30a.m. dah sampai...semangat ok!. And 10 minutes in the sauna. Baru 3rd time masuk sauna...hehe, last time tak berani..now its a must. Its good to sweat it all out - sd wahdi (http://wahdi.blogspot.com/)! Sempat ambik gambar tau dalam sauna...

Mogok & Ocean's 13

After a lousy meeting with a client that lasted till late on Monday, yesterday I 'mogok' sekejap, refuse to do work...itulah privelege kerja sendiri..hehe...well, even an employee can get a sick day off or emergency leave when you are soooo not in the mood.

Anyways, in the afternoon i decided to catch a movie - Ocean's 13. I really enjoyed it. The great cast, the clever plot..everything - its one of those rare movies where you wanna side with the bad guys...I love all the Ocean movies: Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen. Ocean's 12 is still my favourite so far i think. I just learned that Ocean's Eleven in actually a remake of an old movie starring Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis and gang...i hope to watch this version as well one day...tapi nak cari kat mana?

Dah habis mogok semalam, today have to get back to work...tie-up loose ends before balik kampung this weekend. Mom has summoned me back for some daughter duties, which means a week away from broadband!

The Not-So Fantastic Four

Its not the kind of movie i would go to the cinema and watch in the first place...but it was a friday nite out with the girls, so majority rules. I went with little expectations, and true enough i didnt really enjoy it. Unless you're a big fan of comic based movies, you can just wait a year or so and catch it on HBO.

Sorry...& the picture i promised

Sorry if u have been dropping by and there's been no updates. My mind has been too occupied with stuff...depressing stuff actually.

Anyways, here's the picture of the my "new toy" i promised loooooooong ago...

Yes, that's the new all-black lappie!, and besides the normal sling bag, i got this Targus backpack as a freebie. Its functional, but a bit big n bulky tho..dont u think?

It'll be a working weekend for me. I am running 2 workshops on 27 & 28 June and have to get the materials to the organisers by Monday. Its gonna be tough as my brain is in a somewhat hibernation mode:-(

About Yesterday

Gambar sekadar hiasan...tidak ada kena mengena denga cerita dibawah;-)

(From the Langkawi Album)

Yesterday’s plan was to get my new laptop from Geek (its an IT shop at New Wing 1 Utama, cute kan nama dia). I’ve been scouting around for a new laptop since the “lightning strike” sending my modem n beloved laptop to the dumps I’ve narrowed it down to a few choices, but mostly I checked online.. On Monday, masa jalan-jalan lepas gym, masuk Geek to check out the laptops.

Sometimes, the sales person does determine the purchase. These days laptop prices are pretty standard so prices memang dah fixed no matter where you buy. This guy at Geek, lets call him Geekguy was just amazing (and did I mention cute…no, no, that didn’t influence me…yeah right).

I’m not the most technical person, but I do want to understand the specs I’m getting…like what difference does it make if I get a 1.86 compared to a 1.73GHz processor, core duo v core 2 duo, vista or xp, vista basic or premium……..anyways the Geekguy came to the rescue, explained everything but not pushy or selling…gave options to dwell on. When I’ve decided I could just call him one hour before pick up so that he can install software and setup the notebook. Excellent. Doesn’t it irritate the hell out of you when these people practically shove things on you, oversell….’buy this one la…very good one…”

Back to my day, I woke up at 5am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was still in two minds whether I should upgrade the Vista Home Basic to Home Premium, whether I have that option, if yes would the graphic card support the new Aero feature….so I got on the net to find out more. I couldn’t call Geek at 5am, so I had 5 hours to kill. So I thot….

At 8.30a.m the client who remained silent the entire week called.

“Cik Anne, sorry I tak call you …nak call semalam but it was already late, but there is a meeting at 10a.m. today, and if you don’t catch this person today….bla bla”

(between last nite and the morning of the meeting, which one is later…go figure woman)

I jumped out of bed. This lady said she will call again to confirm the logistics with another lady whom I never met. So I jumped into the shower, and got dressed with whatever that doesnt need ironing. By the time she called to confirm-confirm…it was after 9, and I have to get to Taman Tun to pick up this other lady, drive to Seri Kembangan and be there at 10am. Shit.

And the meeting was disorganized and bordering unnecessary. All these people using terminologies while not understanding what they mean. Tiring! However, we firm up some dates which means some revenue for me this month (thank god!). While the other ladies ramble over things that didn’t concern me, I was frantically sms-ing friends whom I promised to have lunch with at 1Utama. And I haven’t called the Geekguy!

I thot I can just drop off the lady back at Taman Tun, still make it for lunch which I’ve conveniently arranged 2 floors down from Geek, call Geekguy during lunch to finalise the specs, jalan-jalan while Geekguy do the setting up and then collect my new toy. No…..the lady after convincing me that I can get back to Damansara in 30 minutes from Seri Kembangan wanted me to detour and drop her off at Sri Hartamas for her lunch date. (Bad idea at lunch hour!) By the time I got to Bakerzin, my friends finished lunch. Though I hadn’t eaten the whole day, I was too flustered to eat. I finally settled for some profiteroles and the girls had to leave soon after.

Anyways, dipendekkan cerita all ended well. I got my laptop one hour after calling the cute Geekguy. Very happy coz I got free ram upgrade to 1Gig, so that I have enough memory to use Vista Premium (the graphics' far nicer), which Geek upgrade for add-onn of RM100 only. Nantilah later I letak pics. Still using my borrowed laptop to settle some work before I play with my new toy.

Uneventful Weekend

The picture is taken in Langkawi...dulu kan nak buat posting of my adventures in Langkawi...tapi dah lama sangat put on hold sebab came back from Langkawi terus busy kerja...so i will just letak the pics here and there. Sedih kan gambar ni, macam lonely je...like me about now.

The weekend has been uneventful (all the berita kematian not included), i dont have to wait for the weekend to be over to say this...because i know nothing exciting will happen today either. In fact the entire week has been uneventful. My daily rountine consists of constantly checking the mail inbox for some news on the workfront, masak and makan, watch tv. Masa kerja dulu you apply leave just so that you can do nothing....but too much of anything is not a good thing kan.

For some variety i try to do some business planning work, tapi tak best sebab sorang sorang..Jill takde so no one to bounce ideas with. I list down some To-Do list just to make me feel useful. I read Trump and Rich Dad Poor Dad for motivation. All these are mostly done on the sofa of course. Kalau sofa tu boleh bercakap, or even better move...dah lama dia campak i keluar tingkap agaknya.

Tomorrow i've scheduled time out of the apartment - go gym and kalau jadi have lunch with a friend...bukan apa...the TV & Astro decoder needs a break, dah panas nanti meletup. This slow period also allow me time to catch-up with old DVDs yang dah lama pinjam tapi belum tengok. Yes, i am embarassed to admit, as of yesterday...baru tengok Lord of The Rings 1 & 2, (i watched bits n pieces before before but they just put me to sleep).....now i understand the hype. Best rupanya.

And today evening is the French Open Men's Final...that would be about the only exciting thing for me today, cheering for Nadal to win over Federer!

Condolences

About 8pm last nite, a friend i'm supposed to meet up for dinner with called to cancel, his auntie and his sister's father in law passed away.

About 10pm, my mom called. My dad's cousin passed away. I hope Dad wont be too upset. He's surviving many of his younger cousins. Dad's 76 this year, Alhamdullilah.

About 7am, got an sms from Jill. Her dad passed away this morning in Kelantan. My deepest condolences goes to Jill, Lizzie n family.

My prayers goes to my uncle and Jill's Dad - semoga rohnya diberkati Allah, dan ditempatkan bersama orang orang yang beriman. Amin.

Depression Busters

I am a bit depressed, since Monday. To cut it short things are not happening as it should work wise, and some other personal stuff. So today i'm gonna just indulge myself in this depression, just for today and prepare myself to get back to work and normal routine tomorrow.

Let me share with you my indulgence or you can call it depression buster tips. Warning: You can try it at your own risk, i'm not even sure if they worked on me, ok..

Living alone and working from a home office doesn't help at all. So get online and talk to friends or family. If they are in 'deeper shit'(pardon the expression) than you, the better. It'll help you feel guilty for being depressed in the first place.


Eat well. Hunger will make you more grumpy. Cook a pot of hot asam pedas...the more masam and pedas the better. My version has ikan tenggiri, tomatoes and terung. Eat with nasi putih panas-panas and ikan masin.


Cooking itself is therapeutic. After that hot lunch you would be sweating by now. Get into the shower. Hot shower works for me. Then lather your body with some nice smelling cream. Put on some comfortable clothes...not the baju kelawar...something you feel cute in.

(Ni takde gambar..heheh)

Then light a few scented candles. I like vanilla.

(Candles in the picture are the latest addition to my collection. Thanks Sue Ann!)

Then, think of things you need to do....depends what your problem is. For me, its Plan B if all the things lined up for June doesn't happen. Don't do any of the things today as this is your depression day. You have to allow yourself that depression time (or so i tell myself)

Then find a good DVD to watch, the longer the better....like a Trilogy.



Cukup-cukuplah merepek kan;-)...I'm gonna go watch those DVDs right now. I hope i'm out of this depression tomorrow.

Pirates of The Carribean: At World's End

SEEN IT, LOVED IT!!!!

Since i slept through the first one years ago at the cinema, and missed the second one...i think i should get the DVDs! Yup, it was that good!

Bad Lunch

After the minor injuries (yang jatuh tepi longkang tu...), i decided today i should get back to the gym. Dah boleh pakai socks. Anyway, i wanted to get movie tickets to Pirates for tonite. Promised Shal we would go together. Its school holidays plus its friday night, the sms reservation is fully taken up.

After my workout (my personal record...tak pernah over 2 hours kat gym tu), i thot might as well have lunch at the One Utama food court (old wing) before i go home for a nap. I hear Pirates last for 3 hours, so nanti tertidur pulak. Rasa nak makan nasi biasa je hari ni...so i took nasi putih, tempe goreng, sayur campur and ikan masak asam rebus. Cost me RM6+.

So i sat down, first taste dah rasa tempe tu manis gila, then kuah asam tu weird...but still boleh makan. Then i dissected the fish....macam undercooked je, but still i had a few bites...then sampai part dekat tulang..nampak merah2, like blood still visible...i stopped. This is not good.


I took the plate back to the cashier...which is quite a sight, dengan handbag, dengan gym bag, dengan pinggan lagi..

Me:"Kak, ikan ni tak masak"

C:"Meh sini nak kasi masak"

Okaayy, i thot i was gonna get a refund, but i just stood there and she took the plate inside.

C:"Kak, ikan ni memang banyak darah"

Me:"huh?"

C:"Kak mesti tak pernah makan ikan ni"

Me:"Ikan apa"

C:"Ikan patin"

Another C:"Ikan ni ubat tau, elok untuk kulit. Customer complain kalau kita masak sangat, esp orang cina"

Me:"Saya tak tau"

Waited, and waited.

Me:"So, apa yang lama sangat ni"

C:"Microwave"

My stomach was feeling quesy already, with this fishy, sweet taste in my mouth. Do i really want the plate back. Then this makcik came out with the plate screaming "Panas, panas, ambik tray."
Memang smoking the plate. I took a look at the fish,,...still look the same.

I kept quite, carried the tray and sat down. Stared at the plate...melamine plastic. Not a good idea to microwave plastic....Nak makan ke tak?...Sayangkan, rezeki. But i really couldnt stomach it...dah kembang and all the rice (the pix is after the microwave treatment).

So i walked away, paid the parking and left. Came home to an orange juice. I dont think i can stomach anything just yet. Maybe i'll drag Shal to supper later after the movie...

I look like hell (I think)

I look like hell, my face look tired, my eyes has darkcircles...and top it all, there 3 pimples on my forehead (at my age, that is pure embarassment, so juvenille!). I blame it on some hormone screw-up because last nite i found myself crying for no good reason.

OK, maybe i have things to cry about - but hey, i'm hanging in there.

The past 48 hours of working on another proposal (u're gonna here a lot on "proposals" on my blog these days) have taken its toll on me. And yesterday i had to go to a 'fee negotiation' meeting alone without Jill. I take that as my weakest point, i'm so gullible (if you have tips to offer, leave a comment please).

Anne: I have taken into account the fact that you are a non profit organisation...as you can see we have significatly dicounted the fee from our normal rates...

Client: But still, this is too much...my bosses are going to jump out of their skin

Anne: What range of figure are you looking at, may be we can start from there

Client: We have volunteers at hand to help you..

Anne (to self): (Volunteers...volunteers...what will i do with a bunch of volunteers.)

Anyway, it didnt get anywhere. They'll call me back.

Pending that, i'm gonna put on some concealers and meet some friends for lunch, window shopping and maybe catch 'Pirates' if there's tickets.

So much for all the plans....

Since i left my job, and go on this business venture with Jill, the last 2 days workshop is the first proper project for us. So memang dah plan nak celebrate...even small achievements should be celebrated right....the plan was to watch Pirates of the Carribean, then go have lunch, jalan jalan shopping (window shopping je sebab payment belum dapat..hahaha.)Early morning, Jill sms saying that plans cancelled, she's on the way balik kampung - her dad is very sick. (My prayers are for you, Jill).

I wanted to upload some pics of the workshop, tapi dalam digicam Jill. The workshop went ok i would say, but the most nervewrecking thing for me is reading the participants punya comments, takut nak baca...tapi of course la nak tau sangat. In the car driving back, Jill read the comments and ratings while i drove. This group memang susah nak predict how they would rate the programme, tak tau kenapa...so i braced myself for the worst...tapi ok;-)...mostly above average ratings...ada la the minority few kasi average je (hmmm...nanti korang)..but it was more than i can expect.

Since plans cancelled, rajin pulak datang mood nak basuh kereta. Dah malu nak drive around with my car that dirty. (Padan muka nak sangat beli kereta hitam, buruk betul bila kotor). Baru nak start basuh, i tak perasan lubang kat washing bay tu, termasuk kaki inside,,,bercalar, berdarah, lebam semua my left feet. But dah start sabun kereta, i cant stop and leave it like that...so suck it up and finish washing..oucch, pedih!!!

So much for all the plans, might as well laze around in front of the TV and rest. Penat tau berdiri dan bercakap 2 hari...hehe, lucky i tak pernah teringin nak jadi cikgu sekolah ke...;-)

p/s - American Idol finals - glad Jordin won over Blake

One Down

Phew...one day completed, one more to go.

Standing & talking continuously for the entire day has worn me out.

My back hurts.

Cant wait to wrap things up tomorrow.

Thanks to all who wished me luck:-)

Off to bed now...zzzzz

Nerves

I'm all nerves...i'll be facilitating this 2 day workshop tomorrow ( i did mention the last 2 posts). Its not my first time so i dont know why i'm so jittery. I suppose a little bit nervous is good right.

Busy, busy, busy preparing for my delivery. I leave all other administrative things to Jill - she's very good at that, in her own organised chaos way (hehe - i mean that in the best way Jill).

Cant wait till Friday. I'm gonna go celebrate - its good to celebrate small achievements right. Going to watch Pirates Of the Carribean. Sape nak ikut?;-)

Konsert Akhir Akademi Fantasia 5

Mila, the newly crowned champion. You go girl!!!



Aznil bid farewell as AF host after 5 seasons. You will be missed dearly.



Pictures courtesy of AF official website (www.astro.com.my/akademi_fantasia)

Retail Therapy

Busy day.

Finished paper some paperwork I’ve put off for weeks.

Managed some work out time at the gym.

Met my business partner to discuss next week’s event at Old Town Kopitiam One Utama.



If you are into coffee, the Hazelnut white coffee is a must try. I tried the French Toast as I skipped lunch and the workout made me hungry. Normal French toast except it had peanut butter filling in between the toast. Not bad actually.

Then we discussed my wardrobe for the upcoming event…(hehe macam artis la pulak). I’ll be facilitating a 2 day workshop at a company I worked for 5 years back, thus the pressure to look good.!

Followed by some retail therapy.. I had a shopping list in my head, but I had to be home by 9 to catch Diari AF, so tak sempat buy much….but I managed to buy 3 belts. Plan nak beli satu new belt to wear with my grey pants for the workshop next week…but they had a sale, and I liked the big buckles type for casual wear – go well with blue jeans. Check these out!



The far left is for work, the other 2 for casual.

Retail therapy memang bagus untuk jiwa kacau.